Recommended Reading

I've been slacking off on reading this year, but I just finished a Lorrie Moore book, skimmed Skin Cleanse, and I'm thinking about delving into screenplays...

Here is an excerpt from each:

1. Anagrams (Lorrie Moore)

When I told my husband I hated him, we hadn't been married long at all. It was when he was taking my picture with his new camera, narrowing his eyes, adjusting the shutter speed, posing me at various angles until my smile felt aching and absurd. We were in the living room. He had asked me to take my shirt off and I'd obliged. I'd been standing there by the mantel awhile and it was getting cold, the hairs on my arms standing on end, my nipples erect. "Got your high beams on," said my husband, like a college kid, camera to his face. Finally he pulled the camera away from his eyes. "Light's bad," he mumbled and walked off without taking the shot. Stunned and topless, I followed him into the dining room where he began taking pictures of the porcelain monkey-head lamp my Aunt Wyn had sent us for our wedding. "The light's hitting this great," said my husband. "The reading's perfect." His camera was clicking away. (P. 113)

2. Skin Cleanse (Adina Grigore)

Let me say, as clearly as I can, your diet is the most essential tool you have to getting great skin. You cannot eat crap and have clear skin. Period. You could ignore everything else in this book and just cut out sugar or drink more water, and your skin would get better. But the problem these days is that almost all of us are putting too much stock in what we're being told to eat by people who don't know us, and we're not listening enough to what our bodies really need. We are all individuals. In the same way that all of the factors in your background and lifestyle affect your overall health, they also affect how you should be eating. Your diet changes throughout your life, and it is greatly impacted by your state of mind. (P. 37)

3. Dear Life: Stories (Alice Munro)

'To Reach Japan'
She sent her letter to him there, at the newspaper. She could not be sure that he opened his mail and she thought that putting Private on the envelope was asking for trouble, so she wrote only the day of her arrival and the time of the train, after the bit about the bottle. No name. She thought that whoever opened the envelope might think of an elderly relative given to whimsical turns of phrase. Nothing to implicate him, even supposing such peculiar mail did get sent home and his wife opened it, being now out of the hospital. (P. 15) 

4. Yes Please (Amy Poehler)

The only thing we can depend on in life is that everything changes. The seasons, our partners, what we want and need. We hold hands with our high school friends and swear to never lose touch, and then we do. We scrape ice off our cars and feel like winter will never end, and it does. We stand in the bathroom and look at our face and say, "Stop getting old, face. I command you!" and it doesn't listen. Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier. Maybe I should have called this book Surf Your Life. The cover could feature a picture of me on a giant wave wearing a wizard hat. I wonder if it's too late. I'll make a call. (P. 279)

Recommended Reading

I'm not going to hit my mark this year of tackling 50 books, but 40+ isn't bad... I've still been drawn to short stories and am finally getting to read a few popular hits from the year, including Lena Dunham's book and The Vacationers. Did you have any favorite reads this year?

1. Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She's "Learned" (Lena Dunham)

'Is This Even Real?' 
Gran didn't marry until she was thirty-four, which in 1947, was the equivalent of being Liza Minnelli on her fifth gay husband. My grandfather, also named Carroll, was massively obese and came from great wealth, which he had squandered on a series of misguided investments including a chicken farm and a business that sold "all-in-one sporting cages." But Gram saw something in him, and within two weeks they were engaged. From this union came my father and his brother, Edward, aka Jack. (P. 225)

2. The Vacationers: A Novel (Emma Straub)

She was on Villette, working her way through the Brontës. She’d read all of Jane Austen that year—Austen was good, but when you told people you liked Pride and Prejudice, they expected you to be all sunshine and wedding veils, and Sylvia preferred the rainy moors. The Brontës weren’t afraid to let someone die of consumption, which Sylvia respected. (P. 60)

3. Slouching Towards Bethlehem: Essays (Joan Didion)

'7000 Romaine, Los Angeles'Why do we like those stories so? Why do we tell them over and over? Why have we made a folk hero of a man [Howard Hughes] who is the antithesis of all our official heroes, a haunted millionaire out of the West, trailing a legend of desperation and power and white sneakers? But then we have always done that. Our favorite people and our favorite stories become so not by any inherent virtue, but because they illustrate something deep in the grain, something unadmitted. Shoeless Joe Jackson, Warren Gamaliel Harding, the Titanic: how the mighty are fallen. Charles Lindbergh, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald, Marilyn Monroe: the beautiful and the damned. And Howard Hughes. That we have made a hero of Howard Hughes tells us something only dimly remembered, tells us that the secret point of money and power in America is neither the things that money can buy nor power for power's sake (Americans are uneasy with their possessions, guilty about power, all of which is difficult for Europeans to perceive because they are themselves so truly materialistic, so versed in the uses of power), but absolute personal freedom, mobility, privacy. It is the instinct which drove America to the Pacific, all through the nineteenth century, the desire to be able to find a restaurant open in case you want a sandwich, to be a free agent, live by one's own rules. (P. 71)

4. Fever Pitch (Nick Hornby)

I fell in love with football as I was later to fall in love with women: suddenly, inexplicably, uncritically, giving no thought to the pain or disruption it would bring with it. (P. 7)

Recommended Reading

I love reading people's insights on life and love, from Montaigne's unique views during the French Renaissance, and the ongoing interpretation of his essays, to Daniel Jone's observations from reading 'Modern Love' submissions. The depth of the human experience is incredible.

Anything on your reading list as the weather changes? I've been waiting for cozier weather to tackle Middlemarch; I hear it's all the rage right now ;-)

Here is a short excerpt from each:

1. How to Live: Or A Life of Montaigne in One Question and Twenty Attempts at an Answer
(Sarah Bakewell)

If they liked the Essays' style, English readers were even more charmed by its content. Montaigne's preference for details over abstractions appealed to them; so did his distrust of scholars, his preference for moderation and comfort, and his desire for privacy -- the "room behind the shop." On the other hand, the English also had a taste for travel and exoticism, as did Montaigne. He could show unexpected bursts of radicalism in the very midst of quiet conservatism: so could they. Much of the time he was happier watching his cat play by the fireside -- and so were the English.
Then there was his philosophy, if you could call it that. The English were not born philosophers; they did not like to speculate about being, truth, and the cosmos. When they picked up a book they wanted anecdotes, odd characters, witty sallies, and a touch of fantasy. As Virginia Woolf said à propos Sir Thomas Browne, one of many English authors who wrote in a Montaignean vein, "The English mind is naturally prone to take its ease and pleasure in the loosest whimsies and humors." (P. 275)

2. What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: Stories (Raymond Carver)

I Could See the Smallest Thing
I was in bed when I heard the gate. I listened carefully. I didn't hear anything else. But I heard that. I tried to wake Cliff. He was passed out. So I got up and went to the window. A big moon was laid over the mountains that went around the city. It was a white moon and covered with scars. Any damn fool could imagine a face there.

3. First Love and Other Stories (Ivan Turgenev)

There is a sweetness in being the sole source, the autocratic and irresponsible cause of the greatest joy and profoundest pain to another, and I was like wax in Zinaïda's hands; though, indeed, I was not the only one in love with her. All the men who visited the house were crazy over her, and she kept them all in leading-strings at her feet. It amused her to arouse their hopes and then their fears, to turn them round her finger (she used to call it knocking their heads together), while they never dreamed of offering resistance and eagerly submitted to her. About her whole being, so full of life and beauty, there was a peculiarly bewitching mixture of slyness and carelessness, of artificiality and simplicity, of composure and frolicsomeness; about everything she did or said, about every action of hers, there clung a delicate, fine charm, in which an individual power was manifest at work. And her face was ever changing, working too; it expressed, almost at the same time, irony, dreaminess, and passion. Various emotions, delicate and quick-changing as the shadows of clouds on a sunny day of wind, chased one another continually over her lips and eyes.

4. Love Illuminated: Exploring Life's Most Mystifying Subject (with the Help of 50,000 Strangers) (Daniel Jones)

Being the First to Say "I Love You"
Everyone knows that just because you realize you're falling in love with someone doesn't mean you're supposed to blurt that out until you've gotten a good sense that your declaration of love will be reciprocated. If you think of your relationship as being like a seesaw, with you on one end and your love interest on the other, then you want to try to keep that seesaw roughly in balance and avoid any sudden shifts that can result in a sharp fall and a broken ass.
For example, if you say "I love you," and the other person says "I love you too," the seesaw remains balanced. But if you say "I love you," and he or she pauses and then says, "Um, I really like you a lot, but--" it's as if your seesaw partner has stood up and let you go crashing down.
The big decision, though, is figuring out who is going to be the first to say "I love you." Well, it turns out there's some consistency in this matter, at least in heterosexual relationships. Researches at Penn State University have found that men are actually three times more likely than women to be the first in the relationship to say "I love you." Surprised? I was, and so were the 87 percent of people in the study who expected women would be the first to profess love. The logic seems clear, though, when you understand the timing and reasons why men are often the first to cross that threshold.
According to the study, men typically say "I love you" before they have had sex with the woman, and the reason they decide to say it, consciously or not, is because they want to have sex, and they think the woman is more likely to agree to have sex if she is told she's loved.
Although this makes sense, I doubt it's so coldy calculated in every case, because from what I've seen (and done), a man's brain can confuse intense physical desire with actual love, and in the heat of the moment, he may or may not be able to process his feelings and thoughts appropriately. In these cases, his brain may seize up, and before he even knows what's happening, his mouth just spits out the words "I love you." He sort of means it but also sort of can't help himself.
In any case, if it works, and the man gets to have sex, he's happy, even if he hasn't quite thought through the long-term repercussions of how the woman may interpret his declaration and what she will hold him to going forward and how often she will remind him of it.

Recommended Articles

A few articles that have caught my eye recently, especially the article about how our perceptions are influenced when we taste wine. It's amazing how quickly we develop bias: from the label, color of the wine, and particularly the price...

1. Brown, Sarah. "It Happened to Me: I Don't Have a Best Friend." xoJane 11 Dec. 2012

But unlike romantic relationships, friendships are often ranked according to age – your oldest friend is usually your best friend. But since all my old best friends have moved on and replaced me with newer, shinier models, where does that leave me? Our society may view romantic relationships as the only kind of relationship worth actively pursuing, but there’s no good reason why we shouldn’t have to work at friendship like we work at dating.

2.Konnikova, Maria. "What We Really Taste When We Drink Wine." The New Yorker 11 July. 2014

In one of the most prominent studies of how expectations can influence taste, Gil Morrot, a wine researcher at the National Institute for Agronomic Research in Montpellier, and his colleagues found that the simple act of adding an odorless red dye to a glass of white wine could fool a panel of tasters (fifty-four students in the University of Bordeaux’s Oenology program) into describing the wine as exhibiting the qualities associated with red wine. The tasters thought they were tasting three wines, but they were actually tasting only two. There was a white Bordeaux, a red blend of Merlot and Cabernet Sauvignon, and the same white Bordeaux colored with a red dye. When Morrot looked at the tasters’ responses, he found that they used similar descriptions in their notes on the red and colored-red wines (chicory, coal, cherry, prune, cedar, and the like), and markedly different ones when describing the white (floral, honey, peach, grapefruit, pear, banana, apple).

3. Rich, Simon. "Guy Walks into a Bar." The New Yorker 18 Nov. 2013

So a guy walks into a bar one day and he can’t believe his eyes. There, in the corner, there’s this one-foot-tall man, in a little tuxedo, playing a tiny grand piano.
So the guy asks the bartender, “Where’d he come from?”
And the bartender’s, like, “There’s a genie in the men’s room who grants wishes.”
So the guy runs into the men’s room and, sure enough, there’s this genie. And the genie’s, like, “Your wish is my command.” So the guy’s, like, “O.K., I wish for world peace.” And there’s this big cloud of smoke—and then the room fills up with geese.
So the guy walks out of the men’s room and he’s, like, “Hey, bartender, I think your genie might be hard of hearing.”
And the bartender’s, like, “No kidding. You think I wished for a twelve-inch pianist?”

Recommended Reading

After seeing Matt Taibbi's appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher, I immediately requested his book at the library. It's a fascinating look at some of the inequalities in our country and the growing divide in how we systematically reward or punish behavior based on position in society. I've also been delving deeper into short stories and as soon as I polished these three collections off, I had four more collections sitting on my nightstand and two more on my Kindle...

Here is an excerpt from each:

1.  The Divide: American Injustice in the Age of the Wealth Gap (Matt Taibbi)

The laws governing the rights of immigrants are overtly diluted, in a manner that would strike the average American as simply strange, if not outrageous. A natural-born citizen enjoys Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches and seizures. Police can't come busting into your home without a warrant, can't wiretap your phone for no reason. Any evidence seized in an improper search is invalid. This basic principle, that evidence improperly obtained gets excluded, is called the exclusionary rule.
But according to a recent federal court decision called INS v. Lopez-Mendoza, in cases involving immigrants, a Fourth Amendment violation must be "egregious" for evidence to be thrown out. Moreover, thanks to a more recent case called Gutierrez-Berdin v. Eric Holder, even "very minor physical abuse coupled with aggressive questioning" does not rise to the level of an egregious Fourth Amendment violation.
The government's rational here is beautiful in its simplicity. American criminals have constitutional rights not because they are natural-born Americans but precisely because they are criminals. Deportations, however, are not part of the criminal justice system. "Removal proceedings," wrote the circuit judge in the Gutierrez-Berdin case, "are civil, not criminal, and the exclusionary rule does not generally apply to them."
So the undocumented alien who kills a room full of Rotarians with an ax has a right to counsel, a phone call, and protection against improper searches. The alien caught crossing the street on his way to work has no rights at all.
Strangest of all, immigration proceedings are run by immigration judges, who are not "Article III" judges - not members of the judicial branch, as described in the U.S. Constitution. Immigration judges are actually employees of the Department of Homeland Security. In other words, they work for the same branch of government that prosecutes the cases." (P. 203)

2. One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories (B.J. Novak)

The Girl Who Gave Great Advice
"Well," she would say, and then narrow her eyes at the person she was talking to: "what does your heart tell you?" (Sometimes she would use "gut" instead of "heart." She switched those up sometimes.)
"Yes. Yes!" the friend would say, as the girl who gave great advice held her squint and then added a slow, small nod one and a half seconds later. "You're right! Thank you! You give the best advice. I feel so much better. Thank you!"
That's how it happened most of the time. But sometimes, her task was more complicated. These were the times the person would say "my heart tells me..." (or "my gut tells me") but would then say something in a tone of voice that made it sound like the person wasn't necessarily all that happy to be saying what he or she was saying.
The girl who gave great advice knew how to handle these situations, too. She would lower her head thirty degrees and then tilt it back up after two and a half seconds, and ask at a slightly slower pace in a slightly lower voice: "And what does your..." and then she would say either "gut" or "heart," just whichever one she hadn't said before. (This was the part she had to be most careful about. Once, she had said the same word as she had the first time—"heart," twice—and the whole thing fell apart.)
If her first piece of advice hasn't worked, this second piece of advice always made everything all right. "Yes! Yes! Now I know what to do! You give the best advice!" everyone told her. "The best! Ever!" (P. 41)

3. Me Talk Pretty One Day (David Sedaris)

The Great Leap Forward
Across town, over in the East Village, the graffiti was calling for the rich to be eaten, imprisoned, or taxed out of existence. Though it sometimes seemed like a nice idea, I hoped the revolution would not take place during my lifetime. I didn't want the rich to go away until I could at least briefly join their ranks. Money was tempting. I just didn't know how to get it. (P. 100)

4. Birds of America: Stories (Lorrie Moore)

Dance in America
I tell them dance begins when a moment of hurt combines with a moment of boredom. I tell them it's the body's reaching, bringing air to itself. I tell them that it's the heart's triumph, the victory of speech of the feet, the refinement of animal lunge and flight, the purest metaphor of tribe and self. It's life flipping death the bird.
I make this stuff up. But then I fee the strange voltage of my rented charisma, hear the jerry-rigged authority in my voice, and I, too believe. I'm convinced. (P. 47)

Happy Friday!

I can't believe it's already Friday, I had to check my calendar to be sure.  There is nothing worse than thinking it's Friday prematurely.  I've been watching a documentary on Netflix about Woody Allen, absolutely fascinating, endless creativity and work. . .  Did you know that the 'split screen' therapy session was actually a built set, so Woody and Diane could play off each other's timing?
Here are a few links from the week:

'At The Movies With Woody Allen' Playlist

Chalkboard marker on picture frames, the possibilities. . .

Vacation Idea: Lazy days in Oahu, Hawaii

Loving how well Haas is playing, even at Gulbis' expense

Excited for the release of She & Him: Volume 3, First Listen on NPR here

She & Him are also in the Red Butte Outdoor Concert Series line up this year, finally


(Image via Woody Allen: A Documentary)

Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

Have you seen Jerry Seinfeld's Internet series Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee?  It's surprisingly entertaining, for a show about nothing, and the inside stories are fascinating.  The episodes with Alec Baldwin, Brian Regan, and Michael Richards were highlights of the first season.

I can't wait to see who Jerry will pick up to go get coffee with next, now that the show has been 'renewed' for a second season.

(New York Times)

Kinder Surprise Egg Proposal

How amazing is this Kinder Suprise Chocolate egg proposal?


"April 9th marks the 9th anniversary of our awesomely creative (and geeky) engagement. Matthew had been up late “working” for many nights, which is the norm, but this time his real reason for burning the midnight oil was this incredible creation.

We used to buy Kinder Surprise Egg candies for each other all the time. If you aren’t familiar, it is a chocolate egg that contains a tiny, whimsical toy with assembly instructions inside. They are so much fun — maybe too much fun — sadly, the US banned them from import a few years ago.

Matthew painstakingly took apart the chocolate egg and replaced the toy inside with a small robot figure and illustrated instructions on how to assemble him into a tiny MatthewBot on bended knee. Also inside was my amazing ring! He then reassembled and rewrapped the egg to look virtually untouched.

Obviously, I said yes." -Lori

via Swiss Miss

January Resolutions

I love the fresh start of a new year, all the ideas of grandeur and the hopes to be a happier and brighter person.  Last year was full of big changes: graduating from school again, getting my first real job, and moving to my own apartment in the city.

But I find that it's the little things that really change your day to day perspective and make for a happier life.  Last year I kept track of a little 'Happiness Project' with a few small goals each month, such as, making salsa verde or starting tennis lessons again.  I thought I would do the same this year.

Here's to 2013!

10 Experiences to Give

Instead of gift guides this year, I thought it would be fun to think of 10 experiences to give.  Material things are great and this blog is mostly filled with them, but experiences create lasting memories, perfect to share for the holiday season.

1. Tickets to a Ballet or Show
Sometimes tickets to a nice ballet or play can be pricey, but the quality of the show and the experience usually outweigh the cost.  Seeing Broadway shows in NYC with my mom was a highlight of the trip.

(Artists of Ballet West in George Balanchine's "Serenade" // Photo by Luke Isley)

2. Movie Date
I love seeing movies with my sister or my mom.  It's nice to spend some time together and you'll be able to discuss the movie while catching up.

3. Gift Certificate for a Class
A Tai Chi class, a jewelry making class, or a cooking class. Sign someone up for a class they have been meaning to take, or a skill they have been wanting to learn.  It's an easy way to show support; it's even better if you are able to take with them and share the experience.

(Tai Chi Class)

4. Skydiving
If you have a friend with an adventurous spirit, there is nothing more exciting than leaping out of a plane, maybe a tandem dive to start though. . .

5. Dinner at a Nice Restaurant
There may be a foodie hiding in your budget-conscious friend.  A lot of people don't splurge on food and what better way to make memories than over a nice dinner.

(The Salt Lake Tribune - Pago)

6. Tickets to an Art Gallery
When a favorite artist or an interesting show comes to a nearby gallery, don't miss it.  Grab a friend and get some inspiration together.

7. Drybar
It's a definite splurge to pay for a good blowout, but the results are amazing and they get to pick from a menu that includes: the Straight Up, the Manhattan, the Cosmo, or the Mai Tai.  It would be a great pick-me-up.

(Drybar)

8. Organize a Hike or Picnic
A lot of people like to get outdoors, but they don't like to do the planning.  A little research to find a good trail or taking the time to pack a picnic can make for a great day with friends or family.

9. Go to the Flea Market
Getting up early and making the trek to a flea market is not for the weak.  Gear up with a friend and find some treasures together.  My mom and I are definitely planning a trip to the Rose Bowl Flea Market in Pasadena.

(15 Flea Market Tips // Emily Henderson)

10. Weekend Trip
While long vacations can be luxurious, a short stay can be exhilarating  hop in the car, or snag cheap airfare and get away.  A quick trip allow for spontaneity and experiences are usually more fun when unplanned.

via Oh Happy Day

Holstee Manifesto

Have you read the Holstee Manifesto?  I know manifestos tend to be cheesy, but they can also give some needed inspiration and are a good reminder to re-prioritize occasionally.

Do you remember the Aardvark Manifesto?

Happiness

After watching the documentary Happy on Netflix (Joanna's recommendation), I naturally felt the need to assess what I could do to increase my happiness.  Following the advice for physical activity and self-improvement I would love to prioritize taking tennis lessons, yoga classes, and possibly trying ballet barre.  For more social activities: tennis socials, volunteering, and dinners with friends.

(Indian Wells)

Mostly, I need to minimize my clothes wishlist and think more about experiences, such as traveling.  I can't wait to travel to far off countries and experience all 50 states.  I would also love to check more things off my Mighty Life List.

What makes you happy?  I'd love to hear.

(Photographer: Thayer Allyson Gowdy)

Wes Anderson Film Color Palettes

How great is this graphic from Beth Mathews?  I can't wait to finally see Moonrise Kingdom.

I'm especially drawn to the Rushmore palette of green, navy, and coral.

This Many Card

How sweet is this birthday card from W+K Goodness?  You get to fill in the appropriate amount of candles for the recipient.

Lunar Globes

I've been on the lookout for a globe of the moon.  It's such a quirky object from the 1960's.  

I also just watched this fascinating video from NASA about how the moon evolved.  I had no idea it was so intense. 

(Lunar Globes)

Mornings

Lately I've been trying to enjoy mornings more.  It is such a great time to relax and start the day off right: yoga, french press coffee. . .  I've always loved this post from Kate on her blog For Me, For You.

"I have never been a morning person in my whole life, we both used to stay up til 12 or 1 and get up with barely enough time to get ready and run out the door, but now we go to bed around 10 and get up with at least two hours to read, eat, and get ready nice and slow. Every Friday morning we get up extra early and walk to the farmers market, my favorite ritual and plus of living in this weather. I wish the mornings went on forever."

(image)

Note to Self

I know I get caught up in this mentality.  It's always nice to be reminded that it's good to be unique.

(image)

Happy New Year!

I hope you are all excited for 2012!  I know I always feel renewed at the start of a year.  It's nice to make some resolutions and reflect on your priorities and dreams.

This year I have a few things planned but you'll just have to wait...

Cheers!

(image)

Oh Andy...

It's impossible to find something not to love about this New York Times photoshoot using Andy Samburg to recreate great moments in tennis.
Beyond amazing!

Sapling Press

Happy Friday!

Here are a couple Dear Blank cards from a collaboration of Sapling Press and dearblankpleaseblank.com.